A Fight to End All Fights
by xMischiefManaged013
Summary: "I'm sorry Prettyboy" "For what Morgan? Contrary to your actions I do not have a vagina!" Fluffy M/R...T for language


What does one do on a dreary day such as this? Write some slash of course.

I just happened upon the Criminal Minds season a couple weeks ago, so the characters may seem a little OC

I got the idea for this plotline from a video on AFV, so its a true story.

A/N; I do not own Criminal Minds

**A Fight to End all Fights**

Silence. For thirteen long minutes, that's all that filled the dark SUV. Never had this car been so silent, especially taking into consideration who the driver and passenger are. The seat belts were strained in an effort to stay silent, even the leather car seats tried to squeak their protest at the lack of conversation. Nothing the upholstery could do would change the lack of words.

"Reid" Morgan cut the silence with his sharp voice, "Come on Kid, you really going to resort to the silent treatment?"

He went unreciprocated.

"Fine, if that's how you want it…" childishly he turned up the radio, but still had a hopeful glimmer in his eyes that his lover would answer back.

Aside from local radio noise, the silence resumed.

More minutes went by, and as each passed Morgan's grip on the steering wheel only increased in pressure. With his grip unyielding, the darker companion gave in. Again.

"Prettyboy… I'm sorry," taking his eyes off the road, Derek looked over to see his word's effect.

After what seems like hours of agitated silence, when it couldn't have been more than a few blocks, Reid looked over from the passing scenery—ready for a fight.

"For what Morgan? Contrary to your actions I do not have a vagina! Yes, I might be more feminine than you—but you loved last night's bubble bath just as much as I did. For god's sake I'm waiting for you to go out and buy me a box of tampons, must you really treat me like such a girl?"

Confused doesn't come close to describing the look on Agent Derek Morgan's face—perplexed, dumbfounded, flabbergasted—the list goes on. He tries to interrupt, but the best he can manage is a simple "R—" before, Spencer builds up even more momentum.

"No! First off, you never let me pay for a date, like you proved once again tonight. I'm supposed to be the magician in our relationship and yet you always beat me to the check. Fine, I can live with this rivalry we've built up, but why couldn't I drive? The one time I ask, and you shut me down faster than a PC." Reid exhales the breath he's been holding for the entire rant, and turns back to his window—seemingly defeated.

"Prettyb-" Derek tries to reach a hand out to his upset lover, but Reid pushes him away. "No Morgan, this isn't fair. I have a perfect record, no crashes, no infractions, nothing! I'm getting so sick of riding shotgun."

"Let me explain-" but before this apologetic agent can reconcile with his passenger, sirens sound off behind them. The doctor slams his head back into the seat in aggravation, "Great Derek, just fucking great."

After pulling off into an isolated area, Morgan nervously turns off the ignition and waits for the approaching officer, even starts to take calming breaths. "It's just local PD, what's wrong with you?" Reid inquires. Before Derek can reply the officers start shouting.

"DRIVER! Place your hands outside the window, and slowly open the door" Reid swivels his head around trying to look at the officers, while Morgan complies. "Driver, step out of the vehicle with your hands on your head."

"Morgan what the hell did you do?" Reid is even further perplexed when orders are barked to him to do the same. "What the hell is going on" he whispers to himself.

"Driver slowly walk backwards toward us, passenger stay still!" The seemingly infuriated police officers scream over their bullhorns. Spencer tries to identify himself and Morgan, but the cops just won't listen.

Reid is told to back up to where Morgan is as well. "Morgan! Tell them we're FBI, this must be some sort of mistake"

"There's no mix up Prettyboy," Morgan defiantly looks forward, while Reid tries to look him in the eye.

"Driver face the passenger!"

Angrily Reid starts to question the ineptness of the officers. "Face the passenger, what are these guys straight out of the academy, what the fuck is going on Derek?"

"Driver, get down on one knee!" Suddenly the officer's voice changes, so much so that Reid looks back, only to recognize a somewhat familiar face. "Derek do we-" For such a genius, it takes Reid a few moments to put the entire encounter together, but looking down on his kneeling companion is the last of the pieces.

Reaching into his jacket pocket, Morgan takes out a ring box. A box he'd been looking at for two weeks, waiting for just the right moment. "Prettyboy. I know we've been through some tough times, just now being one of them, but I can't think of a world without you by my side. I've loved you ever since I saw your scawny ass walk into the BAU. I'll gladly stop this driving Miss Daisy thing we've got and hand over the keys if it means I get to keep you. So, Spencer Reid, will you marry me?" The entire time Reid looked into the sincere eyes of his lover and felt the tear coming, he couldn't help but let the floodgates go.

Waiting on baited breath, Morgan hears the one word that would change their lives, "Yes….but I'm not going to wear a damn dress," close enough.

Derek rises to his feet and puts the ring on his fiancé's finger, to a place it will never leave. The officers behind them light up the car and start jovially clapping. Nothing is noticed by the two.

* * *

Review and let me know what yall think, opinions are appreciated!


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